Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i think i just naturally attract stoners
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
