He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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