The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
COCAINE IS GR8
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
