Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
