hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize