So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
