I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
