dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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