She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
