Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
