I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Someone shit on the floor
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize