So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
