I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
