she was so not down for the gang bang
honey bunches of taint.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize