I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
