dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
