Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
