Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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