all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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