So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
