i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize