He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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