This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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