If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
