Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
