Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
