Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize