Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
