dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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