im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
