at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
