he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
