I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize