I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
