why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
That accounts for only three of the penises
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
