The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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