I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize