im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
