Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
