So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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