I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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