Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
