The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize