If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize