I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
