Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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