i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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