Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
