I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
