i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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