Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
