Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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