Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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