uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
