Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
