cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
