six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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