I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
