I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
