you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize