No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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