you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
