"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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