i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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