it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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