i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
