and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
