i permit you to call me
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
