my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
