the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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