Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
