you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
