when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
